As a mom you are faced with many sweet moments of hugs, kisses and “I love you”. Then there is the other not-as-sweet moments with our kids’ bad attitudes, messy bedrooms and whining. In fact you and I can have moments where we wonder if we are the right mom for our kids. Maybe we didn’t expect raising kids to be this hard or are perplexed how to handle those overwhelming moments with screaming kids at Walmart.
A recent situation at the grocery store will prove my point. My son and I were having a nice bonding time while grocery shopping until he saw a stand of apple cider vinegar bottles. It is important to note the apple cider vinegar was in a glass bottle. For those of you not familiar with apple cider vinegar it has a very strong and distinct smell. On an impulse he decided to throw the apple cider vinegar on the floor to find out what would happen. It broke. Everywhere. I was so embarrassed and wanted Scotty from Star Trek to beam us somewhere else.
Thankfully someone came to clean the apple cider debacle while I wallowed in embarrassment. It was as if in that single moment my success as a mom for all time was being judge. The final result being a big fat “no, you obviously are not the right mom for your child”. My thoughts continued in a downward spiral, “What am I doing? I am not the right mom for him. I can’t keep up with him. He is into so many things and never stops moving.” It does not matter the age of your child, 5 or 45 years old, as moms we can feel we are in the process of messing our kids lives or already have.
The problem you and I face is believing our feelings are the truth and the final truth. My feelings reflect my emotions, not the reality of the situation. When we are tired, overwhelmed, or frustrated our feelings will naturally be skewed to the negative. The challenge is how to move away from our doubts and frustrations? Our mindset needs to be revitalized. We need to reflect on the truth and have friends speak the truth to us.
Truth versus lies for moms
I am a failure as a mom –> You fail when you don’t show up or stop trying to be a mom. Being a human mom means you have a human child and both are not perfect. If you made a mistake; learn, change and grow.
I have/am/will mess up my kids –> Yes, we make mistakes but Iooking at one moment or a situation as the summary of my life is not truth. Decide to do your best as a mom and ask for forgiveness when you mess up. It bears repeating if you made a mistake; learn, change and grow.
I don’t know what to do with my kids –>Being stretched in a difficult situation is a good problem, you and your child are growing. You will shape your child and your child will grow your character. No one else will advocate and fight for your child like you will. No one else will do more for your children than you. Even if your child is strong willed and you are laid back, God placed you in their life to mold their will and shape it. Think of yourself as harnessing the destructive force of a hurricane for good!
You can not see the impact of being a mom to those kids right now, but it is similar to growing an apple tree. Slowly over time you see the apple tree grow and blossom. Your children are not a microwave. The impact of change is not seen immediately but over time. Water your little saplings and make sure they have encouraging words as sunlight and fertilizer. Provide constructive and loving feedback to prune your kids and keep away any pest who will attack your little apple trees. If you children are grown you can still impact their lives through prayer, emails, phone calls, and scheduling one-on-one time. You can make a lasting impact and you will never know how far reaching the outcomes on this side of heaven.
I hope this is encouraging to you. If you know of any moms in your life, please go ahead and share this post. Please sign up below to receive encouraging emails and your own weekly planner in your inbox.
This post contains affiliate links.